Finding common ground can be tricky in marriage, so the ability to express empathy, compromise, and teamwork are invaluable assets that can transform your relationship into one based on mutual understanding and support.
To secure your husband's support, it's essential that you communicate clearly and precisely about your needs and wants. Also important is for him to recognize how his perspective could benefit the marriage.
1. Communicate Effectively
Communication is the cornerstone of every successful marriage and one of the key skills couples should hone in order to strengthen their bonds. Successful communication involves listening, fighting fair, expressing yourself clearly and keeping tabs on nonverbal cues like facial expressions and body language.
Do not yell, cry, or play the blame game when speaking to your husband. These tactics will only serve to make him defensive and turn away from hearing you out. Instead, speak calmly, remain on topic, and communicate your needs directly.
Make sure to recognize his efforts with words of praise or a thank-you note for all he does, from simple jazakallah khair greetings to heartfelt emails with thanks for his advice - positive reinforcement is a great motivator that keeps employees going strong!
2. Find Common Ground
Marriage can often result in significant disagreement, particularly given today's divisive politics. Sometimes these differences of opinion become so profound that couples feel as divided as a country as a whole. Finding common ground can help couples navigate these conflicts and build stronger bonds - this may include finding something both people can agree on in terms of topic, opinion or interest that both can agree upon; though this doesn't guarantee they'll change each other's minds it can serve as an important starting point towards building bridges between divergent viewpoints as well as breaking ideological echo chambers which often form between political camps preventing communication from both parties and hearing other points of view which might otherwise remain hidden to both parties involved - finding common ground can help break ideological echo chambers so you hear other perspectives you otherwise might miss.
3. Persuade Without Manipulation
Persuasion and manipulation share an intricate relationship; persuasion should be conducted morally ethically while manipulation should not. Manipulation involves using deceit, coercion or exploitation to get someone else to do what you want; examples include gaslighting (making someone doubt their reality), guilt-tripping (causing someone to feel overly guilty for not adhering to what is expected), charm offensives (trying to impress or dazzle someone into complying with your demands), etc.
Recognizing when someone is trying to manipulate you can help you devise strategies to get them on your side more easily. Unfortunately, this can sometimes be challenging if they are part of your family or someone you trust; if this situation becomes difficult for you to manage seek professional help. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists for just such cases.
4. Be Patient
There are parts of the Bible we read and think to ourselves "that sounds nice but how can I live that way?" God told us love is patient, yet practicing patience can be challenging. One way is taking a deep breath before counting backwards from 10 to 1 with each digit paused between each number - counting backwards can also help.
Let go of your desire to control every situation, as this can often be the cause of impatience. For example, if your husband cleans your bathroom but not exactly to your specifications, rather than becoming angry about this aspect of his chores he might not quite meet your standards, prioritize strengthening your marriage over achieving perfection in the house - it will make a significant impactful difference on how you interact with him!
5. Be Honest
Honesty is key to any healthy marriage and should always be observed when discussing feelings, thoughts, personal histories, daily activities and future plans. Being honest about these topics creates intimacy and trust between partners - but be wary not to impose your definition of honesty on your partner if their sensitive areas become hurt by what you reveal - such as telling them about something that hurts them directly; otherwise they may become defensive or less open to future discussions with you.
Certain secrets should remain private; for example, thoughts you harbor about coworkers or friends that should remain your private thoughts. Such conversations require discretionary honesty - which requires more judgment and sensitivity than obligatory honesty - with discretionary lies often being known as "little white lies." Still, maintaining honesty should always form the basis of healthy relationships.